“Alex, what took place?
” When he seemed a little more at ease, I asked gently.
You can inform Mother. ”
He cried out, “I thanked Grandma for the car, Mommy. ” But I wanted to finish my game because I love trucks.
She became irate and stole my toys.
“WHAT?
” I exhaled. I was surprised.
Margaret responded, her arms still tightly crossed, “He needs to learn respect and gratitude, Jennifer. ” I discarded all of his other toys.
He might learn to be thankful now!
”
In an effort to control my rage, I took a deep breath. It’s one thing to have opinions about how I raise my son, Margaret, but it’s quite another to take matters into your own hands and harm him in this manner.
“However, he must acquire the ability to appreciate others! ” She fired back.
You give him too much love.
”
Margaret, I concurred, “Respect and gratitude are important, but they are not taught through cruelty. ” I’m going to teach you something important, too, because you threw away his toys to teach him a lesson.
As I looked around the room, Margaret’s exquisite china collection caught my eye. Even though she didn’t use it very often, she held it in the utmost importance because it was a gift from her late mother.
For convenience, she always preferred to use her regular dinnerware.
However, this convenience would now be in doubt.
“Sweetheart, why don’t you go hand-washing and get ready to go home? ” With a reassuring smile, I said to Alex.
He gave me a nod and ran off, leaving Margaret and me alone. With my determination growing stronger, I got up.
I needed to impart a lesson to Margaret that she would never forget.
When I got to the kitchen, I carefully packed all of her common dinnerware into a box.
Leaving only the fine china in the cabinet, I packed each plate, cup, and piece of silverware meticulously. “What are you engaged in?
Stop! ” Margaret demanded, her panicked voice rising as she observed me.
I did not respond immediately.
I carried the dinnerware box to the front yard instead.
Margaret protested more and more as she followed closely behind. “Jennifer, stop!
“No, Margaret,” I finally said, placing the box on the grass, “I won’t stop! What are —” You treasure your fine china, which was given to you by your mother.
It’s important to you, even though you don’t use it much, right?
The fact that Alex did not immediately play with the car does not negate his gratitude.
If you already have the precious china set, do you really require the rest of the dinnerware? Are you not appreciative of it?
” As she began to comprehend my point, Margaret’s eyes widened.
Her expression flickered with guilt and realization. She started, “Jennifer, please,” but I stopped her by holding out a hand.
I went on to say, “It doesn’t mean they aren’t grateful just because they don’t show their appreciation in the way you expect.
” You tried to teach Alex a lesson by throwing away his toys, but all it did was hurt him.
The toys are like this dinnerware. Wouldn’t you want someone to throw it away?
Margaret’s eyes welled with tears as she stood there, speechless. I picked up the dinnerware box with determination and sadness.
Even though it was a difficult lesson, I knew it was necessary.
Calling Alex to my side, I said, “We’re leaving now.
” However, I hope you’ll consider what I said. Instead of harsh lessons, Alex needs love and understanding.
” Margaret watched us leave with a mixture of sadness and contemplation on her face as I took Alex and the dinnerware box in my arms.
Margaret did not communicate with us for several days. I kept thinking back to our last meeting and wondering if I had been too harsh.
I knew I had done the right thing each time I saw Alex having fun with his remaining toys.
Nevertheless, I was concerned about the effect on Margaret’s relationship with us.
Then, one morning, there was a knock at the door just as Alex and I were finishing our breakfast. As I attempted to respond, my heart sped up.
I found Margaret standing there when I opened the door. She appeared different, perhaps humbled.
I said, “Hello, Margaret,” not knowing what to expect.
Her expression was soft and remorseful as she held a bag containing Alex’s toys.
She spoke quietly, her voice slightly trembling, “I brought back Alex’s toys. ” I apologize.
Now I understand that just because something isn’t used often doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. I felt relieved when I heard her say those words.
I gave her the box of dinnerware after accepting the bag.
Margaret, I’m grateful.
I’m glad we were able to gain some useful knowledge from this. With a big grin on his face, Alex, who had been peeking behind me, ran up and grabbed his toys.
Margaret looked at him with relief and guilt in her eyes. She looked at me and softly said, “I didn’t mean to hurt him.
” I just wanted him to know how valuable things are.
”
I responded by placing a hand on her shoulder and saying, “I know, Margaret. ” However, there are times when we must teach through love and patience rather than taking things away.
We, too, are still learning. ”
With tears welling up in her eyes, she nodded.
I’m grateful that you helped me see that.
What action would you have taken?
