Being a stay-at-home mom wasn’t the “easy life” my husband thought it was, until I let him live it himself. What started as an insult turned into a reality check neither of us saw coming. I’m Ella, 32 years old, and for seven years I’ve been a full-time stay-at-home mom.
Ava is seven, Caleb is four, and Noah is two. I finally took control of my life when my husband kept acting like I was doing nothing all day with the kids. I’ve spent nearly a decade doing everything in the house.
I was knee-deep in diapers, laundry piles, school pick-ups, cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery runs, organizing playdates, homework help, bath time, bedtime… and still trying to look good when my husband got home. And for all that time, my husband, Derek, acted like he was doing me a favor by working a nine-to-five. Derek’s 36, a senior analyst at some mid-sized firm downtown, and walks around with the swagger of a man who thinks a paycheck makes him the “king” of the house.
He’s never been violent, never laid a hand on me or the kids, but his words cut in a way bruises never could. For years, I brushed it off. I’d hear comments like, “You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with traffic,” or, “I work hard so you can stay home and relax.” I used to smile, thinking he just didn’t get it.
But that changed last month when he completely lost it. He stormed in on a Thursday, slammed his briefcase on the kitchen counter like he was delivering a verdict, and barked, “I don’t understand, Ella. Why the hell is this house still a pigsty when you’ve been here all day?
What do you do? Sit on your a**, scrolling through your phone? Where did you spend the money I brought in?!
YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A PARASITE!”
I froze. I couldn’t speak at first. My brain stalled.
He loomed over me, shoulders squared like a chief executive officer (CEO) about to fire his most useless employee. “Here’s the deal,” he said. “Either you start working and bringing in money, while still keeping this house spotless and raising MY kids properly, or I’m putting you on a strict allowance.
Like a maid. Maybe then you’ll learn discipline!”
That cut deeper than anything he’d ever said. I realized that I wasn’t his partner anymore; I was his servant.
I tried to reason with him: “Derek, the kids are small, Noah is still a baby—”
But he slammed his fist on the table. “I don’t wanna hear your excuses. Other women do it.
You’re not special. If you can’t handle it, maybe I married the wrong woman!”
Something in me snapped. I wasn’t angry.
I was done! I met his eyes and quietly said, “Fine. I’ll get a job.
But only on one condition.”
His eyes narrowed, and he scoffed. “What condition?”
“You take over everything I do here while I’m gone. The kids, the meals, the house, school runs, bedtime, and diapers.
All of it. You say it’s easy? Prove it.”
For a moment, he looked shocked.
Then his laugh was loud, ugly. “Deal! That’ll be a goddamn vacation!
You’ll see how quickly I whip this place into shape. And maybe then you’ll stop whining about how hard it is.”
I didn’t say anything else. I just nodded and walked away.
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