We weren’t used to men being present and in charge, even though my sister and mother loved him. My sister had been in and out of abusive relationships, and my father had been absent from my life.
Therefore, his behavior was absolutely stunning to them.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell them that my husband was a covert narcissist.
He once looked at me and said, “Your family is made up of a bunch of unpolished women, thank God you met me, so I can balance the equation with my exposure,” after my mother and sister had visited and left. When he needed to put me down, his go-to phrase was “Kurasenii,” which means “unpolished woman.
” He would be the most loving husband, attentive, talkative, and kind when we had company, even if we were in our house for weeks without speaking to each other.
I lost an unhealthy amount of respect for him as the faking started to get to me. We got into more arguments; Our marriage started to fall apart.
However, no one outside of our house noticed.
He started trying to get me to start a family.
However, I knew better than to add a child to our ruse. He refused to listen to my request that we begin therapy and work through our issues.
He also had an affair later. I also found out.
He offered his usual extravagant apology.
In addition, he threw a grand birthday party for me, invited our friends and family, and put on a show that was legendary.
At the conclusion of the party, everyone agreed that I was the luckiest girl in the entire world. However, his affair persisted, and I decided to break off my marriage.
He won over everyone. They said he had erred, and I ought to forgive him.
that there would never be another like him, and However, I was done, exhausted, and in love.
I then left.
He turned everyone who knew me against me. I was reprimanded for months by my mother and sister.
In fact, when I filed for divorce, he left our home, and my sister took care of him for months in hers. Additionally, my mother predicted that I would never meet another great man.
They made a variety of excuses for him and directly blamed me for not trying hard enough, and no amount of explanation could convince anyone of the reality of the marriage.
At some point, I stopped explaining and accepted the fact that people did not know my side of the story.
These days, all I can think about is how fortunate I am to have made it out alive and unscathed. I am sharing this to assure anyone who is dealing with a covert narcissist spouse that they are not insane.
Although the narcissist is a master manipulator and the things they are going through are real, they can make you question your own sanity.
