I thought I was a good mother-in-law and grandmother by availing myself to my son and daughter-in-law (DIL) as they needed. But I soon realized that I was getting the raw end of the deal when my DIL disrespected me. I had to take matters into my own hands to remedy the situation once and for all!
My tale is about learning to set boundaries, standing up for yourself, and demanding the respect you deserve. Maybe it’s also a little about internalizing societal expectations. So finally, after two years of working hard while babysitting my grandchildren for three hours daily, I was free for a bit!
When I wasn’t working and babysitting, I spent time suffering from excruciating backache and joint issues. I was worn out and completely exhausted so I had booked myself some time off. I was ready to take my well-deserved and much-needed vacation!
I had spoken to my son, George and my daughter-in-law (DIL), Sarah, way ahead of time about my plans. “Darlings, you are going to need to make babysitting plans for the next few weeks,” I told them. “What do you mean?
Where will you be,” Sarah asked, unintentionally annoying me. Now don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t annoying me because I was a mean mother-in-law (MIL) who hated her. But because of her selfish question.
It seemed I was expected to always be around. “I am going on a vacation to the Bahamas. I already bought the tickets and booked myself at a lovely hotel.”
My son and DIL exchanged surprised looks before staring at me as if I’d grown a second head.
“This is so unlike you, mom. Who are you going with?” I rolled my eyes at George’s response. He’d somehow forgotten that before he had kids, I was jetsetting every few months!
“That’s not true my love. I used to travel all the time when my time was mine,” I replied a bit irritated. I couldn’t believe how clueless he’d become when it came to my life.
“Well, where are we going to get someone to babysit the kids for free every day?”
I realized at that moment that I’d spoiled these two. “Your parents are a start, Sarah. Arrange play dates with your friends’ children or something, I don’t know,” I said in frustration.
Why was I the one who had to figure out what THEY did with their own children? It dawned on me how much I had made them dependent on me. It wasn’t my intention, I think I took the Gam-Gam role a bit too far, and I so loved my little munchkins!
They gave me so much to live for. But I was tired and needed a break. Without waiting for their response, which I anticipated would make me angry, I turned to leave.
“I will send you the details of when I leave, where I’ll be staying, and when I’ll return. Toodles!” I heard them falling over themselves as they tried to catch up to my quick stride. They were LITERALLY trying to get ME to tell THEM what to do with their children!
But I was having none of it and quickly closed the door before rushing to my car and driving away. Yes, I felt like I was escaping and running away from my responsibilities and I HATED that feeling! When I arrived home, my DIL had left several voice messages that I had no intention of listening to.
The story doesn’t end here — it continues on the next page.
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